Fumbling for the Answers
by spanksizzle27
Summary: Riku's confused, here's a look into what running through his head. AU Just a little drabble I came up with. Sora/Riku-ish some Sora/Kairi Angsty. Riku-centric


Just a little drabble to release some pent up emotions.

Disclaimer: I do not own Riku, Sora, and/or Kairi

Warnings: Angst, a dash of Sora/Riku with some Sora/Kairi

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Fumbling for the Answers

I don't get it. I don't get you. I never understand what's going on anymore, it's like I'm closed off from everyone else's worlds. I have so many questions and possibilities running through my mind, and it hurts. I don't like it. I don't like what I don't understand. I'm told one thing then I see another, I'm so confused. What is the truth? What is going on? Sora, what happened? You told me you don't like her anymore that you liked me, but the signs I'm receiving are mixed, I don't understand. We've grown apart, things have changed. I don't know if it's better or worse but I do know this: I fell distant, confused, and a little betrayed.

You and me, we were together all the time, Riku and Sora, Sora and Riku. Then you turned to her. Kairi. I love that girl and yet I envy her so, so much. You dated her for a whole of two weeks. I wasn't happy about, but I put on a happy face and told you it's your business do what you want. Then you lost interest and dumped her. You turned to me and told me you had feelings for someone else. At that moment my stomach fluttered and heart raced, could it possibly be me? And yes, yes it was. I told you the feelings were mutual and we were happy. Sure, we never really did anything, talked more maybe even sat closer than normal. But now...now we're distanced. You go back to her, and sit with her and I hate to say it but the jealousy and anger course through my veins. Not mention the confusion and hurt.

We were close, closer than close and now you talk more with her and have all these inside conversations with her while I'm stuck sitting there wondering what the hell is going on. You always let me walk ahead or with someone else like Hayner while you stay back and walk side by side with Kai. Now don't get me wrong, I love Kairi, she's like the little sister I never had and I find her to be absolutely hilarious and a good friend but it feels as though she's slowly taking you away from me and I don't know what to do. I get jealous when she tells me you two are hanging out or you two did something together. I mean she tells me these things and she doesn't know any better and I just get upset. Not that I let her see that. I just laugh when she tells me of your latest adventure or joke. What really makes me angry though is the flirting. She is all over you sometimes and I just want to rip you away and say that you're mine, but I don't. She's always complementing you and taking your side and you just go along with it and I just want to rip my hair out.

Plus, the things you say sometimes. Are they directed towards me? Or are they for Kairi? I don't like feeling this confused. Sora, I care for you a lot, and I want to be with you, but I don't know how much longer I can take this confusion before I just snap. When I'm alone and don't have anything to distract my mind wanders to you. Then I start to really think about everything, and I keep asking myself these questions to which I have no answers. Without answers I start to doubt everything, wondering what the truth to the matter is. These doubts upset me, to the point where I have to go find something to distract me, usually talking to Hayner or finding something funny to cheer me up.

I don't know if you know any of this. I mean I'm not really one to stop and share my feelings, just thinking that my feelings would just mess everything up further. I don't want to lose my friendship with you or Kairi, I don't know what I'd do without you two, you're my closest friends and the only ones I care to show my true emotions to. But I need clarification.

Sora, if you're going to go back on saying you liked me and your not interested in Kai please, just please tell it to me instead of giving me these mixed signals. It's breaking my heart not knowing and just wondering and thinking about the worst outcomes. I won't be mad if you really are starting to fall for Kairi, I'll be upset and a little distant but I'll get over it. I just want some answers, the truth too. Don't spare my feelings and feed me lies that will just hurt both of us and even Kairi in the end. I just want this confusion to stop. I'm tired of questioning myself and everything that is going on around me. Please Sor, just tell me what's going on.

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Review Please :)


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